Can’t you get some time for you kids? revisited

The more things change, the more they stay the same. My ex’s job has changed so many times I’ve lost track. The time he’s able to spend with the girls seems to dwindle more and more over time. Here’s a post from last year on a particularly frustrating weekend.

Things are still the same even though the job is different.

I’m sitting here at close to 6 pm on Sunday. My head is swimming alternately with it feeling like someone poured lead into my right side ear. So, the right side of my head feels very heavy and there is internal pressure and every once in a while my whole head tilts without my telling it to. I’m sitting here because the girls’ dad never picked them up. first it was Friday afternoon, then it was early Saturday morning, then it was this morning, and he called about a half hour ago to say he was finally back in town and would be here soon.

He went back to truck driving cross country several months ago and it has been a disaster ever since. Between 3 different companies, no one could get him home when they said they would. He hasn’t been here to help with the girls or give my mom and I a break that we both need. I feel a little tiny bit guilty here, because I know there are a ton of other parents out there who do not get a break. But this is about me and my family. they can vent on their own blogs, right?

Anyway, as much as it annoys the hell out of me to get screwed out of my weekend plans, it is harder on Nove Mber. She feels her emotions on a much more base level and instead of getting angry or disappointed over him not being here when he says he will, she just doesn’t want anything to do with him.

Can’t blame her. It’s how I feel too. However, I know this is a reaction to the schedule being so chaotic for several months, because before this, she loved going with her dad on the weekends. He was the fun one, the playful one. He got to be super dad. Yeah, that pissed me off too. He got all the fun and I had to be the one with discipline and rules and schedules to meet.

Not fair. and I’m feeling it. and so is she.

I think I will end this before he gets here and I tear him a new…. well, you know. I’m so angry and hurt for Nove, that I could just cry. Not to mention my own feelings.